The phrase above from Ephesians 3:20 is how I describe one of the most amazing events in my life. I have experienced the physical labor of childbirth four times -- twice with no medication, once with an epidural that did not work, and once as a c-section. I am acquainted with the pain of childbirth; however; my most painful labor was the one I experienced with my soon to be adopted son Z.
Within the DCF system there is an adoption route and a traditional foster care route. We chose to do the foster care route. I think in the back of my mind I always knew that I would love to adopt a child; however, since we were so new to the entire system, we thought we might start with traditional foster care. As I have said in a previous post, we received Z when he was three months old. He was perfectly healthy and very sweet. From the beginning we were in love; but I tried hard to remember my MAAP training and realize that he was going to have to leave someday.
I remember the first time his birth mom canceled a visit. My heart was broken and I called my husband in tears unable to understand how she could miss a visit with this precious boy. I was thankful he was an infant and unable to understand what was happening in his young life. We prayed for his birth mom. We prayed for her salvation, we prayed for her to work to change the circumstances that caused her to lose her son, and we prayed for their reunification.
I don't remember when it was that I started to hope, but I did. By the time the social workers started to talk about goal changes and adoption plans I was hopeful. We prayed constantly that we would be allowed the privilege of adopting this precious boy. When we expressed a desire to adopt Z, our social worker sat us down and told us of the rigorous road ahead of us. We were nervous, but ready for the process to begin.
When a foster child's goal is changed to adoption (I don't want to get into the specifics of why Z's goal was changed) the adoption worker has to recommend who should adopt the child. This way, when the state goes to court to terminate a birth parents rights, they have a family in mind to show the court. The adoption worker first tries to find a family member that would be suitable and willing to adopt the child. We knew that we would not have the opportunity to adopt Z unless all family members were ruled out. As we waited and prayed, God gave us verses to hold onto and we prayed them back to Him. Luke 18:1-8 was one such passage that the Lord used to give us hope. Another was in Genesis 18. As Abraham interceded for Sodom he asked in verse 25 "Shall not the Judge of all the Earth do what is just?" I prayed constantly for mercy for Z and for ourselves. We loved him and desired that he would be able to grow up with us in a godly home. After a few months, and the ruling out of other options, we were finally recommended for adoption. We praised the Lord, but knew that we were not done yet, we still had a trial to go through.
The trial lasted two days. They were two of the most stressful days of my life. I was so nervous to finally see Z's biological mother face to face. I did not realize how difficult it would be to listen to the evidence presented by the state as to why her parental rights should be terminated. It broke my heart. I knew this was best for Z, but I also knew that every mother should have the ability to raise her own child. Again, I mourned over our fallen state as humans and longed for Revelation 21 -- when God would make all things new!
Six weeks we waited. I have had many people tell me that receiving a ruling after six weeks was amazing, but to me they were endless weeks. During that time of waiting, I would have moments of complete trust and assurance in the faithfulness and promises of God. I knew that whatever happened He would cause all things to work together for good. At other times, I would be on my knees begging for mercy, frightened and faithless. God was so gracious to me in my weakness. He would always bring a verse to mind or have a friend share one with me that was just what I needed. He even gave me a women at church who had already been through this process twice and who was such an encouragement.
When we received the news that the judge ruled in our favor, we were ecstatic. We emailed all of our family and friends and our church family praised the Lord for his mercy and faithfulness as they announced our news from the pulpit and in the bulletin. It was a joyous time, but we were not unaware that our joy was resulting in someone else's sorrow. I think of Z's bio mom often and I continue to pray that she will know the comfort and peace that is only found in the Prince of Peace.
We are in the appeal phase of the process now. We expect the adoption to be complete sometime next summer. Every day when I look at Z, Ephesians 3:20-21 comes flooding into my mind and I stop and thank the Lord for his abundant blessings. "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end, Amen."
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